Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Lazy Man's Case for a Plastic Bag Ban

Over at Deadspin, Drew Magary has a post up titled The Bizarre World Of American Grocery Bagging. Basically, he admits he won't use reusable bags unless forced to, but that once it happens, he won't really care because he's fully aware of how lazy he is.

I won't edit out the curse words because A) I don't think many small children are reading my thoughts about nuclear power and B) it's silly to edit out the curse words when we all know what they are anyway:
Every time I hit the store, my wife reminds me to bring cloth bags with me. These are the bags you buy for a buck each and reuse so you don't have to use plastic bags and kill all the penguins in Antarctica, or something like that. I never remember to bring these things, and subconsciously, it's because I don't really want to. I know plastic bags will kill the world for future generations. But I don't REALLY give a shit. Fuck ‘em. I won't be around. Sink or swim, children.

If they really don't want you to use plastic bags in the grocery store, they should get rid of them. Or they should charge you for them, like Bloomberg wanted to do in New York. Fucking fascist.

I'm the kind of person who never changes unless forced to.
Magary closes with, "And that's why this planet is utterly fucking doomed."

What do you say, Virginia General Assembly? Will you ban plastic bags to save Drew's children from their lazy dad?

UPDATE 8/7: The Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot editorializes for a ban today from the non-lazy person's perspective.

Post a Comment