Every time I go to a Virginia ABC store to buy liquor, they insist on giving me a plastic bag. It's against Virginia law, they tell me, to have a bottle of alcohol in public that's not covered.
This offends me not just as an environmentalist, but as a non-Puritan. So I end up doing an odd little dance with the cashier every time I go.
"My car is parked right there," I say, turning and pointing to my car visible through the glass door not 30 feet from the cash register. "I'll take my chances on not getting arrested on the five feet of sidewalk between the door and my car."
"But I have to put it in a bag," the clerk insists with a yes-it's-stupid-but-I'll-get-in-trouble-if-I-don't look.
So I get a look of flinty Chicago toughness in my eye and tell the cashier, "Then you tell them coppers there ain't a jail been built yet that can hold The Green Miles." And we both laugh as I pull the bottle out of the plastic bag and carry it out to my car.
Photo via Yelp's Avenger R.