Don't Be a Menace While Drinking Your Juice

Regular readers of The Green Miles know I'm not big on pushing lifestyle changes - I mostly stick to things that make it greener, more fun, lower energy-consumptive & less stuff-intensive to do the things you already do. Switch to wind power, eat local organic meat, drive a Prius, give Christmas cookies instead of sweaters, etc. But given that my experiment with green deodorant remains one of my all-time most popular posts, I know there's a great thirst out there for tales of trying out more radical change.

My friend Lauren Dunn, a producer with NBC4 here in Washington, recently tried a juice cleanse diet. Health was her motivation, but given her past vegetarianism, how many questions I get about diets like this & how entertaining her posts are, I thought I'd link them up for The Green Miles readers:

• Part I: "My juice arrives Tuesday, July 26, and I'll will report back in three days. For now, wish me luck -- and if you happen to see me passed out on the floor, don't steal my wallet."
• Part II: "Feeling pretty energetic, I went to my boxing class that night. But when the instructor commented on my technique, I full on bit his head off. (Note to self, do not snip at professional boxers.) I wanted to scream: 'I've only been drinking juice for three days!! Leave me the hell alone!'"
• Part III: "The whole process was truly a lesson in discipline. No, I didn’t always feel so fabulous. Yes, my sanity was put into question multiple times. But as I come out on the other side of this, I truly have reaped the benefits."

Lauren's early posts reminded me of a quote from baseball Hall of Famer Frank Robinson, who struggled with his weight as he transitioned from everyday player to bench-warming manager. One year he tried the grapefruit diet and said, "It's OK for the first few days. Then you get a little tired of grapefruit. And after about a week, you want to go find a grapefruit farmer and blow his head off." 

But the short duration seemed to keep any homicidal tendencies from growing within Lauren. And the juice seemed to convince her it would be easy to keep doing the things she liked while making them even healthier (say, replacing cheese with anything plant-based). So, #winning.

What Lauren doesn't mention: It was The Green Miles' influence that got her to try meat again after 10 years of vegetarianism! That's right! FEEL THE BURN, VEGAN TREEHUGGERS. Don't you feel betrayed for having read my posts all these years? I feel like Vince McMahon revealing himself to be "The Higher Power" who'd been screwing over Stone Cold Steve Austin. 

(OK, so I don't care if my friends are vegetarians & it was actually the delicious smell of my Dinosaur BBQ Sauce that got Lauren to want to try meat. But let me enjoy acting like a villain for once.)