Teh Crazy Lines Up Behind BP Apologist Barton

Rep. Joe Barton, best known for his groveling apology to BP CEO Tony Hayward at the height of the Gulf oil disaster, says the rules don't apply to him - he wants an exemption to committee chairmanship term limit rules so he can once again chair the House Energy & Commerce Committee in 2011.

His fight against Rep. Fred Upton (R-MI) is looking increasingly quixotic. How bad is it? Just look at the members standing by him:

“I didn’t line up against anyone, but I did line up with Joe Barton,” said Rep. Steve King of Iowa, one of the Republican conference’s most conservative lawmakers. “I did that because I watched the job that he’s done, not only has he been a reliable conservative leader, he’s wanted to engage in the fight.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), another conservative favorite closely aligned with the tea party, said she would vote for Barton if he appealed the ruling of the GOP Conference.

Rep. Steve King is best known for ... where to start? He's had more controversies than I can count. If I had to pick his most insane moment, it would be saying that he wasn't sure if a 9/11-esque suicide plane attack on an IRS building that killed a federal worker was justified or not.

The best example of crazy from Rep. Bachmann? There are few issues on which The Green Miles & the National Electrical Manufacturers Association agree. One of them is that Rep. Bachmann's War on Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs is batshit insane.

If you were looking to make a list of the most unreasonable, most politically toxic members of Congress, you could save yourself a lot of time by just copying the roster of Camp Barton.

Anthropocene: Not So Good For Maples

I spent the weekend visiting Every Day Father. One day this summer, it hit 97 degrees. That same day, the maple tree in his backyard dropped 80% of its leaves.

Clearly, this tree needs to heed Joe Barton's advice and start adapting to the Anthropocene. Get on that, maple tree!

How Do Politicians Find Polluter Love?

Are you a politician who's eager to sell out to polluters, but haven't been able to find the right match? This Valentine's Day, there's a new website to help -- PolluterHarmony.com.

Just listen to this testimonial from legendary polluter & front group funder Charles Koch:

When the PolluterHarmony compatibility test matched me up with a Democratic senator from Arkansas, I was sure the site was a scam. How could a Libertarian like me possibly relate to a Democrat? But then I read Blanche's profile, I realized maybe I was wrong. She wrote that she loves discovering new places, especially for oil drilling. More importantly, she considers herself someone who likes taking risks, like with public health and safety. Best of all, she had one of the worst environmental voting records of any Democrat on Capitol Hill.

When we first met, I knew I'd found my match. Within a few weeks, I was funneling thousands of dollars into her campaign fund while she quietly worked to stall climate and clean energy policy.

And check out this story from a polluter lobbyist matched up with Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK):

"It's like we finish each other's legislation." Hilarious! Great Valentine's Day parody from Greenpeace.