Like a Disaster Movie with Deficit Concern Trolls

Gothamist shares this post-Sandy subway map created by Zach van Schouwen. Looks like a giant lizard took a bite out of New York:

But instead of Robert Downey, Jr. quickly coming up with a plan to save the day with everyone doing their part to help, we have contrarian reporters scolding "you can't PROVE it was the lizard" and Beltway pundits asking "at a time of big deficits, can we afford the plan to fight the giant lizard?"

Real life is the worst.

Brooklyn Nets to Sell "Brooklynized" Bottled Water, Test Bounds of Human Gullibility

When the Nets basketball team moves to its new arena in Brooklyn, it will sell its fans "Brooklynized" bottled water. You see, apparently people from New York City, not unlike the parents of Lake Wobegon's entirely-above-average children, have convinced themselves their tap water is exceptional.

But this is not Brooklyn tap water put into bottles - no, that would make too much sense for the nonsensical business of bottled water. A company in Florida will take Florida tap water, do little more than play Jay Z's Empire State of Mind for it, then declare it "Brooklynized" and sell it to Nets fans for god knows how much:

The water comes from a new but rapidly growing Florida-based, Larry King–approved franchise, the Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co., which claims it's found the secret to making great bagels: "Brooklynize" the water via a custom filtration process so it resembles "Brooklyn" water, which of course is actually just New York City water. (The company says the water itself comes from "regional bottling facilities.")

At least one person is already going after "Brooklynized" water. The Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel reported last week that a franchise buyer in Florida sued the company, claiming that "the water filtration system is not unique and does not render water equivalent to Brooklyn water." And, yes, the buyer is going after Larry King, too. The company, unsurprisingly, denies the allegations.

As Norman Oder points out at the New York Magazine blog, "arena operators could simply turn on the taps and fill empty bottles with authentic Brooklyn water. But we guess a move like that would lack a certain capitalist zeal."

To repeat: There is no evidence bottled water will make you any healthier or happier than tap water. However, there is plenty of evidence it will make you significantly poorer than if you just brought a refillable mug or bottle with you.

We are all dumber for having heard this idea. Nets owner Bruce Ratner, I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.




Via Deadspin

DC Metro vs. NYC Subway

The Green Miles spent last weekend in New York City. Riding the subway, I couldn't help but notice the comparative advantages of DC's Metro:

• Much smoother
• Much quieter
• More seats
• Padded seats
• Most seats face forward or backward instead of the constant sloshing of sideways seats
• Carpeted floors
• Vastly cleaner due to the ban on food & drink
• Escalators (I only took one escalator on the NYC subway all weekend, at Times Square, and of course people stood on both sides of the escalator so you couldn't walk up)
• A lot less in-car advertising
• A lot fewer construction detours & delays

Obviously the NYC subway is a much older system tasked with carrying a lot more people on a lot more lines that service a lot more stops and they're doing the best they can. But it was a good reminder that, for all the complaining, we have it pretty good here in the DC area.

Quick Tips for a Green New Year's Eve

UPDATE: The Curious Grape tells me they have a few selections of champagne and sparkling wine grown with organic grapes.

Looking to go out for New Year's? Check out the Party with a Purpose at Mexicali Blues in Clarendon. It's sponsored by Arlingtonians for a Clean Environment and Eco-Coach.com to benefit EarthEcho International and CarbonFund.org.

Staying home for New Year's? Pop the cork at midnight on a bottle of organic champagne! Treehugger has reviews of eight different selections of champagne and sparkling wine. I couldn't find any organic champagne at Harris Teeter, but call The Curious Grape or Whole Foods to see what they have to offer.

Even the Times Square celebration is getting greener, switching to LED lights for the New Year's Eve ball. Despite being smaller and only using as much energy as 10 toasters, the new LEDs will be twice as bright as the old bulbs and can create more than 16 million colors.