It's the National Basketball Association's Green Week, but in 2012 is simply recycling enough to call yourself green?
The Natural Resources Defense Council has positioned itself as the go-to organization for sports leagues looking to go green. It's had some success getting Major League Baseball and the National Hockey League to measure energy usage. But other leagues like the NBA and National Football League seem to be doing the bare minimum - recycling & a few service projects with no league-wide efforts to even measure carbon pollution, never mind cut it - while still getting to plaster NRDC's green seal of approval on their websites.
Not that organic cotton jerseys aren't cool, but ... even the NBA/NRDC video announcing the partnership shows an NBA arena surrounded by a sea of cars next to a busy highway. All you have to do is recycle your empty water bottle before you get back in your SUV and consider the planet saved!
When the Nets basketball team moves to its new arena in Brooklyn, it will sell its fans "Brooklynized" bottled water. You see, apparently people from New York City, not unlike the parents of Lake Wobegon's entirely-above-average children, have convinced themselves their tap water is exceptional.
But this is not Brooklyn tap water put into bottles - no, that would make too much sense for the nonsensical business of bottled water. A company in Florida will take Florida tap water, do little more than play Jay Z's Empire State of Mind for it, then declare it "Brooklynized" and sell it to Nets fans for god knows how much:
The water comes from a new but rapidly growing Florida-based, Larry King–approved franchise, the Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co., which claims it's found the secret to making great bagels: "Brooklynize" the water via a custom filtration process so it resembles "Brooklyn" water, which of course is actually just New York City water. (The company says the water itself comes from "regional bottling facilities.")
At least one person is already going after "Brooklynized" water. The Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel reported last week that a franchise buyer in Florida sued the company, claiming that "the water filtration system is not unique and does not render water equivalent to Brooklyn water." And, yes, the buyer is going after Larry King, too. The company, unsurprisingly, denies the allegations.
As Norman Oder points out at the New York Magazine blog, "arena operators could simply turn on the taps and fill empty bottles with authentic Brooklyn water. But we guess a move like that would lack a certain capitalist zeal."
To repeat: There is no evidence bottled water will make you any healthier or happier than tap water. However, there is plenty of evidence it will make you significantly poorer than if you just brought a refillable mug or bottle with you.
We are all dumber for having heard this idea. Nets owner Bruce Ratner, I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
